[ Sleep comes in short spurts with only silence as its only witness. He spends seconds, minutes, hours drowsy as he fights the urges to let his eyes close only to jerk awake with the sound of metal screeching and bearing down on him again.
It's funny that even when you plan this for yourself, when you know what's coming, it doesn't really prepare you for it.
Even now it's hard to say if he would have turned to anyone if the others were all here. He's not an idiot. He knows how much distance he put between himself and the others. You'll always be alone is something that definitely rings true. Even Momota, at the end, hadn't been able to work everything out.
What would have even happened in the trial after that? Did he stick to the script?
Why won't his mind just shut off?
The crisp air at night helps a little. It helps to concentrate on the steps of his feet, of the outline of the cards in his pocket and the feeling of the material of his scarf pressing against his chin. It's a reminder that he is alive here, that those things should be unimportant now that he's out of that mess.
It doesn't explain why his feet find themselves outside her apartment. It takes a moment for his eyes to focus, and there's a horrid realisation that this is what things have come to. He's been independant for as long as he can remember. He hasn't relied on other people because those people can hurt you. They can wind you when you're already down and tell you that you'll always be alone and that you're every bit of a villain as you pretend to be because you have to be--and that hurts.
This hurts.
Why did he come here in the first place?
Miu's probably sleeping in her apartment given the hour. The lights in the street blur in and out of focus. He's too tired to be out here like this, but that's what happens when you try running away from your own past and feelings. Maybe he deserves to suffer for an eternity like this. Maybe that's why it's only Miu Iruma who is here.
But at least it isn't Gonta Gokuhara.
That. That would be worse.
His hands press deeper into his pockets and his head gently drops to rest against the door.
He told her some of what happened, but it was without the context of the killing game. Without the context of Akamatsu being overly shounen and trying to save the day only to kill a friend and get herself exectuted. Without the context of Tojo being a shadow president. Of the lack of anyone in Hoshi's life. Without the context of the motive videos. Of his family, DICE, and the wonder of if they're even still alive.
But this is what happens when you push everyone away and have nothing left, isn't it? Would she even understand if he was honest about it, or would she use it against him later? For every question he finds himself answering, there's another waiting in line.
So he doesn't try to open the door. He doesn't move from there as his eyes close, the weight of the door utterly unwelcome and too much of a reminder.
[ It's only been a few hours since he left the festival. The nurse at the first aid tent had lectured him on home care for the burn on his hand, and was obviously trying to look and see if Miu had done a good enough job. It's fine though. He's too emotionally drained to really give a fuck about whether his hand is properly wrapped up or not.
It still feels warm.
That's the only connection he feels to it now. His other hand cups the back of it, holds it against himself like it'll give him some kind of answer as to why some liar who should mean nothing has crawled so deeply under his skin so quickly he feels like he's suffocating. Trying to keep afloat is pretty much the best he can do, more so when she keeps trying.
Her issues, if it's about her mom abandoning her, seem trivial in response. It's all he can think about in that it isn't fair or she shouldn't complain. What would she say if she knew the truth?
And thus, it comes back to this again.
It's 3:17am this time, when his feet are opposite her door and he's forgot his scarf in his haze, forgot to put on any other layers to protect from the cooler night air. He blinks a few times at her door.
No matter how hard he tries though, he can't fall asleep at home. His room is nothing alike his room back home. There's no inner tube, there's no wax statue of Amami hanging upside down. No whiteboard or notes. The only notes he has are the papers on the floor and the canoe he has from the time they went on that excursion to the possessed trees.
Why is he even here?
He exhales slowly, lets his head rest against the door again and this time he hesitates when his good hand presses into his pocket and touches the lock picking tools in there. He clenches his fist around one of them, wincing when the jagged end cuts into his finger a little. It wakes him up at least, breathing harshly like his head has just been dunked underwater to be woken up (is that how Ryoma felt?) because he can't let himself sleep anymore.
The click of the lock turning is incredibly quiet, just like the soft murmur of the door pressing open and his footsteps are almost silent. Once the door is shut, he regrets this. He regrets going so far, when the step was already further than necessary.
Yet he still ends up curling up in front of her door, arms wrapped around his knees again but in the comfort of her apartment instead of outside.
Even if it's all a lie, when it's a ridiculous hour like this and he can't sleep well, maybe it's okay to believe it when she said she cared. ]
Edited (im editing the icon i can edit ok) 2018-01-20 21:15 (UTC)
[ It's early afternoon when he breaks into her apartment, doing it as quietly as possible to give himself time to prepare what to say or do once Miu knows he's there. The lock clicks open, then shut again as he steps inside. With that done, he starts his search of the apartment.
In his pocket is a barrette he'd actually picked up for her a few weeks back, unsure of whether to give it to her or not due to the connection to her mother. He's kept it with him just in case he gets a moment where it feels like it'd be right to offer it to her, but it hasn't been the Time so far.
As he steps through her apartment he wonders if he missed her leaving again or maybe he got the times wrong for when she'd most likely be out. It doesn't seem to be the case though, as he's been right every time up until now. He's always right.
With the silence as it is, he decides to just fuck it and call out: ] Hinasaki-chan? Are you hiding from me?
[ But there's nothing. It's when he steps into the kitchen area that a shimmer of something on the floor catches his eye and he sees the pendant of her amulet on the floor, the chain still in place. Something twists like a knife as he stays still for a moment, wondering if this is a trap or something else. He's hesitant when he steps forward to take it, fingers twitching as he reaches down to touch the crystal only to recoil just as quickly.
It's cold.
His mind flicks through possiblities a mile a minute, remembering the times they've hung out together, the fact that he'd opened up bits of information to this person he had a game of truths with and who he was almost on equal ground with. Someone who could read him well enough to feel like someone from home, someone he'd consider--
family?
His eyes are watering enough that he can barely see anymore, teeth gritting tight until his jaw aches and his hand clenches at this side.
He still hasn't pinned down how he feels (felt?) about her, not really having the chance to or the time to. Two months isn't enough, especially when he automatically pushes people away or when he doesn't know how to completely read her. He still doesn't fully trust her (but he is struggling to try to do that with Saihara, the first he even considered trustworthy) nor does he really know her yet but...
...it was getting there.
That all lasts until an hour or more later he finally feels numb. His eyes focus again, having stared intensely at it instead of doing or saying anything.
When he refocuses, he pulls the barrette from his pocket, replacing it on the floor instead of the amulet. He wraps that around his wrist instead, curling the crystal into his palm for now. There's no change in temperature, but the absense of her with it feels like a dry ice burn on his skin, scalding and suffocating as his eyes shut and he regretsregretsregrets letting someone in.
People will always betray you, it's just in their nature. Even if this wasn't her fault, it still feels like a sharp stiny of betrayal anyway.
Crumpled up in the plastic bag that holds the barrette is a small note that also gets slightly damaged at the edges as his hand tightens:
You don't have to keep the family you share blood with, you can make your own family instead.
He leaves it on the floor, right where he found her amulet. ]
"I'm still here, aren't I? Despite your stupid efforts otherwise or telling me you caused someone to die or seen all those things. And I'm still not letting you go. I don't want you to leave me too", huh? Right at the end, it turns out you were a lying bitch all along.
[When she returns to her home, wearing his clothes, her own bundled up in her arms, she's more than a little surprised to find a gift from the other Miu waiting for her, and even more surprised to find her room in a bit of disarray.
She's not really surprised to come to the realization Kokichi had been there, but she drops the clothes up and finally picks up the plastic bag, looking over the barrette in surprise and then the note and--
Oh.
There's a strange wave of emotions that has the dam breaking all over again and she's crying for too many reasons to pinpoint one alone. In the safety of her apartment, it's fine to fall to pieces for a little while.
After a while she picks herself up and goes to wash her face, staring at herself in the mirror for a long while. Make your own family, huh? She didn't have one anymore, so even if she wanted to reject the notion she couldn't.
She stares at the barrette then, turning it over in her hands and smiles faintly. Stupid. It was all so stupid and silly and-- Miu laughs to herself and takes her normal barrette out of her hair, looking at it too for a long, long moment. It had been the one connection to her mother she still had in this whole new world. With the exception of her memories, it was the last and only thing she had left of Miku Hinasaki.
Miu opens the barrette and takes a breath, before applying enough pressure until there's an audible, satisfactory crack of it breaking. A little dramatic, maybe but she felt strangely--light. Giddy, almost, which is probably what fueled her next move as she carefully slid his barrette into place in her hair.
With his clothes and his barrette, she felt like she hardly looked like the same Miu who'd left the apartment. She concentrates a moment to send the visual of herself in the mirror, flashing a peace sign and a wink like it's a selfie, to Kokichi, and sends over a feeling of, well, gratitude as well. A silent 'thank you for everything.'
She doesn't particularly expect a response, so she doesn't keep up the visual connection long. But hey, she got the gift, and she loves it. He'll probably spy the old, broken barrette on the sink but whatever. It's done.]
[ He didn't really know whether she'd respond to it, hadn't exactly forgotten so much as tried to pretend it didn't exist until he finally got a response to it.
The response he gets is enough to warm him up from the inside out, a soft and fluffy kind of feeling, like being wrapped in blankets. The feeling is shared back to her, just briefly, where he feels grateful she accepted. It isn't quite the same as asking her if she'd join his organisation like he did with Akamatsu or others but... it's getting closer.
[Miu will find a box wrapped in bright pink wrapping paper at her doorstep. There's also a note attached, reading:]
Merry Christmas, bitch!
I got you some shit inside! Be super grateful that I'm generous enough to give you something for the holiday.
xoxoxxx,
The legendary and super hot, Ultimate Inventor-- Miu Iruma.
[Inside is a box of chocolates and other delicious candy goodness. But that's not all! Under the assorted sweets is a mysterious envelope. If she rips it open, she'll find there's no letter inside but a pair of panties (link nsfw) instead. Don't worry, it's not used. It's brand spanking new.]
[ When Miu wakes, she will find that her crystal is glowing! Her emotion drops for the month of Ennea have resonated with Empatheias' giant crystal, and a reaction has been formed.
By her feet, she will find a box of edible underwear. Enjoy yourself???
(Thank you for submitting to the Emotion Tracker!) ]
( action | idk sometime in jan after the trampoline task )
[ By this point, he isn't even sure who is best to go to in the middle of the night when he's tired but he's been choking on nothing for the past twenty minutes after waking up from another nightmare. After the emotional meltdown of a day or so ago, he's avoiding Kaito's as the choice. Now, Shuichi he's fully aware of what being close to him does to him, so he scratches that off too.
But Miu is just as much of a ticking time bomb as he still hasn't placed what this is. Is it friendship? Is it more? Is it distraction? It's 2 in the morning, should it even fucking matter?
He pushes the door open once he's opened the lock, letting it quietly shut behind himself. He pads over to her room, only stopping once he's at the side of her bed. He lowers himself to the ground then, curling up at the side of the bed on the floor. It isn't comfortable really, but it's familiar, filled with familiar scents and home in a way given who she is to him now.
Family.
He doesn't fall asleep right away though, instead trying to let his mind calm down again first. ]
[Her room reflects the rest of her apartment--comfortable, but not filled with knickknacks or a lot of decorations. It's clean and orderly, the barrette he gave her on her bedside table with a glass of water. She's still wearing the ring he gave her. In a corner there's a chair with tomorrow's clothes laid out on it, like she's a person with her life together and everything.
It's probably a good thing that, despite being accustomed to late night visitors by now, Miu's senses still pick up on it. She'd grown used to the dead dropping in and ignoring them, and now it was Kokichi who felt the need to infringe on her space.
It's probably something she should've cared about more, but once she was able to get used to his particular energy she'd found it more comforting than anything else in it's own weird way.
So she comes to awareness slowly, picks up that it's him, and is about to drift back off when the thought hits her of 'is he okay?' Normally this isn't thought that enters her mind, she just goes back to sleep, but the fact that it did is curious enough that it bears getting her attention. So Miu stirs a little more and shifts so she can face towards him.]
Kokichi...? [She's too sleepy to bother with honorifics, her voice rough with sleep.] Are you hurt...? [Did he need immediate medical attention or anything else that would need her to actually be awake and fully present for this conversation?]
[ It's better than his, anyway. Mr. Collects random artefacts for no particular reason. It isn't as bad as when he was collecting evidence from previous trials, but it's bad in that he has a lot of useless things that just might come in handy one day.
Miu having very little on her floor makes it easier on him. ]
I'm fine, shut up and go back to sleep already.
[ He huffs under his breath, rolls over so his back is to her instead. ]
[ It's probably a little mean to send her an image of himself dressed up and about to pretend to marry someone else, but if anything he doesn't really do it to get back at her, just because the whole thing is fun (if a little nerve wracking for the wrong reasons) which is why she receives an image he's seen of himself in a mirror with a message attached. ]
baffled, at first, to say the least. She'd joked a few times before about his fashion, about getting him dressed up. She'd toyed with the idea of getting him properly fitted clothes, a new hairstyle-- it had never gone beyond it because, well, he had his style. She's grown used to it and, probably, wouldn't actually get him to change it.
Now she knows she definitely can't change it because oh, he actually. Cleans up well? She spends way too long with her face bright red, trying to sort through her feelings beyond oh no he's hot.
She covers her face with one hand, rubs it, and then goes to find a glass of water to drown herself with chug. She can't even feel much of a tinge of jealousy at this whole 'marrying momota-chan' thing because she's sure that either A. that's not really what's happening or B. there's something more to that, so.]
[ Miu's apartment is quiet enough when he slips inside. The lights are still off, and it takes some adjusting in the dark to really see where he's going. She's in bed, asleep. Who wouldn't be at this time though?
It makes it easier to leave her gift in the front room though.
First, her own customised uniform is folded up and left out for her to see, a letter in an envelope left on top of it with a box of different flavoured candies.
The envelope is left open though, the flap not glued shut. ]
Miu,
Don't try and keep this, burn it after you've read it as it contains secret information only high ranked officials in my organisation can see, okay?
I know things haven't ever been easy and that I make things hard for you sometimes, but compared to how you were three months ago, don't you think you've become more open now? You're probably muttering something about how at least one of us while reading this too.
Sorry.
It isn't much, but the fact that I asked you to join me and that I gave you that barrete is more than I would have thought of doing for a stranger back home. I guess we aren't really strangers now though, are we?
Sometimes I don't know what to say to you anymore, after what you saw. I guess that's why I'm writing it out here. Once I send it and leave it for you, you can process it on your own and then just get back to me on if you still want to be a leech or not.
As you know, back home 16 of us were trapped and forced to take part in a killing game. It's almost funny, because none of us really wanted to start it. Akamatsu Kaede set the ball rolling (literally) when she tried to trick the mastermind into being killed. It missed it's target, but the mastermind used it to their advantage and killed Amami Rantaro for their own benefit--to get the game started.
I told you before, didn't I? Amami-chan was one of the few people who tolerated me. He treated me well, was calm and collected. He's here now, by the way. I don't know if you've met him yet but you'd probably like him. Either way, that hurt.
I started to put up ideas on the whiteboard in my room--just like the blackboard I pulled together in my apartment here. I took notes of the weapons and gathered what evidence I could for each murder. First with Amami-chan, then Mom (Tojo Kirumi was practically a mom for all of us), then Shinguji** and then it finally came to what happened between Iruma-chan, Gokuhara-chan and me.
I'd already backed myself into a corner by lying so no one would believe me. Despite what everyone else thought, I did care about them. I could have just let myself die, but then Iruma-chan would have tricked them all and got them all killed.
Gokuhara-chan didn't deserve what I put him through. He was dumb, annoying, and loved bugs way too much sure but he didn't deserve that.
I hate it. I hate what I had to become to protect the people I cared about.
After that, I pretended to be the mastermind that was running the game, I let them all hate me so it'd lead to that memory you saw with me and Momota-chan. Harukawa-chan had every right to shoot me. Momota-chan's just an idiot for trying to stop her. He was already dying, y'know? He was coughing up blood half the time, so if it was him I thought I'd feel less guilty.
Turns out that isn't what happens.
I know you said that you have experience with this kinda thing, but do any of the spirits you send off ever have to come back and live remembering all of this? It sucks. Half the time I can't stop thinking about it. Everytime I shut my eyes to try and sleep I can hear the press coming down, like a buzz I can't shut off. When I end up too far under my covers it's like I forget to breathe because of the poison again.
That's why I'm sorry that I'm the one you latched onto. I don't know what you want from me or any of this, but I probably can't give you what you want or need. I can only say I'll try harder and to just be patient with me.
Though isn't that what family does? I guess you have no choice after all.
Sorry this is a terrible valentine's gift, but hopefully the outfit and the candies help with that.
Ouma.
** If Shinguji Korekiyo shows up, do not become friends with him. He's a serial killer and a freak who was in love with his own sister. This isn't like Iruma-chan, okay? I'm being completely serious with that.
2/14 [Not Here - Action on behalf of Kokichi Ouma]
[Waiting on Miu's doorstep when she gets home is a mountain massive mountain of candy and roses. There are 6 red roses, each with a red ribbon wrapped around it, 5 peach roses with peach ribbons, 1 yellow rose with a yellow ribbon around it, and 1 pink rose with a pink ribbon wrapped around it. with each rose there is also a box of heart-shaped chocolates with a card. All it reads is:]
[ The package comes via a delivery service, rather than being left at her apartment. There's no label on the box, and it's horribly plain but inside Hinasaki will find some ... items. A pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, a small whip and a wide paddle with "spank me like the little bitch i am" painted in red on one side. Under all of that is a strap on.
[ While the excursion took place on the 18th-20th and he actually saw the others before now, it takes him a couple of days to actually turn up at Hinasaki's apartment as he is. Not because he doesn't miss her or doesn't want to see her--but because he doesn't really know how to say it at all.
He unpicks the lock with ease, barely having to try, and slips into her apartment whether she's there at the moment or not. ]
Hinasaki-chan?! Aren't you happy to see meeeeeeee?
[She is, in fact, home, back in her bedroom just sort of tidying up. The sound of Kokichi's voice startles her into dropping the shirt she was folding, but she's not terribly surprised it's him. After all, it wasn't like anyone else ever came by.
However, there is a split second before she panics a little and hurries from the room to yelp:] Make sure the door's closed!
[Because there sure is a puffy fluff ball gunning for the doorway now, regardless of if it's closed or not]
[ He's so satisfied with himself, as he holds up the little white gift bag and its pretty ribbon in a color that matches the little barrette he's seen her wear -- already a pretty thoughtful gift, if he does say so himself! You should always put in effort for this sort of thing, right?
There's just one problem, which strikes him as he walks down the middle of the street:
he has no idea where she lives, or where to find her during the day.
Hm.
... Well, he's only done it once before and he didn't initiate it, but maybe this is the sort of thing telepathy was made for. He spends some time trying to remember what doing this felt like, then tentatively reaches out ]
[ Everything is completely hazy by the time Akashi manages to escape the fog. It's lucky of him to be able to, but by the time he does, he's already weakened to the point where he's crying and he can't stop. The crook of his neck is bleeding, two small holes from the vampire's fangs being the cause of it.
He doesn't seem to care about how he looks, though. He doesn't seem to mind that he's struggling so much just to be able to get to where he wants to go. Where that is is Miu's apartment.. And once he's there, he doesn't knock. He has no strength left in him to be able to do so. Instead, he uses his side to bang against the door. It's light, but there's a faint sound of someone from the outside of her apartment flopping against it.
The lights nearby—both inside and outside the apartment may start fluctuating, too. It probably isn't a good sign of anything, considering she has no idea what's going on just yet. A layer of black smoke covers Akashi as well, his subconscious' way of dealing with the stress and the fear, but he's still partly visible if one looks closely enough.
[It's strange how quickly one falls back into old habits at the first sign of trouble. The lights go strange and she's instantly on alert, expression sharp and grim. She finds the camera obscura and gives it a wry sort of look--when was the last time she actually had to use this dangerous thing?--before making her way back from her bedroom to the living room.
It's then she hears the thump and hesitates. Someone must've been there, or something, and for half a second Miu coldly thinks that it's none of her business. That she shouldn't get involved. Whatever is out there can deal with it themselves, but--
But her mind turns it over and over, reminding herself that if it's someone in need of help and she does nothing and something happens... Miu isn't sure when she developed a conscience. She's not sure she likes it.
Either way she approaches the door with a frown, one hand on the camera, the other on the door handle, trying to get an idea of what was on the other side before she opens it. The energy is familiar, in a way, but obscured enough that it feels like when a word is on the tip of your tongue, there, right there, but ungraspable.
Miu pulls the door open then, and she's... Not scared, really, because she can't remember the last time she was ever actually afraid of anything, but alarmed.]
Wh-what...? [Miu blinks, baffled at his appearance, and it takes her a couple seconds more to figure out what--or who--she's looking at] Akashi-kun?
[ This morning, Miu will find a bird swooping towards her with a bouquet of forget-me-nots. With it is a note that reads: ]
I received strange seeds a few weeks ago and I decided to put them in a planter. Now, I've harvested the seeds' fruit. I hope you like them. They're just as beautiful as you.
[ The package waiting for Miu is on the small side, but hopefully the contents will make up for the size: it's a dragon hair clip from the bazaar during the Hatching Day celebrations. There's a note attached as well!
Happy holidays, hope you like it. M.
Who's "M."? Who knows. They must be a real menace, though. ]
[ Your basketball friend is poor, Miu. He has to shop cheaply and make things on his own. The homemade part of the gift is a dish of cookies decorated with trees, snowmen, and sprinkles.
He also found some red, blue, and green hairpins that he thought she may like. A card is included.
'I hope you enjoy the gifts though they may be simple. Thank you for helping me settle into a new place while I learned how to survive on my own.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
( not here | 22 nov ) ndrv3 spoilers in here!
It's funny that even when you plan this for yourself, when you know what's coming, it doesn't really prepare you for it.
Even now it's hard to say if he would have turned to anyone if the others were all here. He's not an idiot. He knows how much distance he put between himself and the others. You'll always be alone is something that definitely rings true. Even Momota, at the end, hadn't been able to work everything out.
What would have even happened in the trial after that? Did he stick to the script?
Why won't his mind just shut off?
The crisp air at night helps a little. It helps to concentrate on the steps of his feet, of the outline of the cards in his pocket and the feeling of the material of his scarf pressing against his chin. It's a reminder that he is alive here, that those things should be unimportant now that he's out of that mess.
It doesn't explain why his feet find themselves outside her apartment. It takes a moment for his eyes to focus, and there's a horrid realisation that this is what things have come to. He's been independant for as long as he can remember. He hasn't relied on other people because those people can hurt you. They can wind you when you're already down and tell you that you'll always be alone and that you're every bit of a villain as you pretend to be because you have to be--and that hurts.
This hurts.
Why did he come here in the first place?
Miu's probably sleeping in her apartment given the hour. The lights in the street blur in and out of focus. He's too tired to be out here like this, but that's what happens when you try running away from your own past and feelings. Maybe he deserves to suffer for an eternity like this. Maybe that's why it's only Miu Iruma who is here.
But at least it isn't Gonta Gokuhara.
That. That would be worse.
His hands press deeper into his pockets and his head gently drops to rest against the door.
He told her some of what happened, but it was without the context of the killing game. Without the context of Akamatsu being overly shounen and trying to save the day only to kill a friend and get herself exectuted. Without the context of Tojo being a shadow president. Of the lack of anyone in Hoshi's life. Without the context of the motive videos. Of his family, DICE, and the wonder of if they're even still alive.
But this is what happens when you push everyone away and have nothing left, isn't it? Would she even understand if he was honest about it, or would she use it against him later? For every question he finds himself answering, there's another waiting in line.
So he doesn't try to open the door. He doesn't move from there as his eyes close, the weight of the door utterly unwelcome and too much of a reminder.
But isn't that what he deserves? ]
( not here | 25 nov ) ndrv3 spoilers in here!
It still feels warm.
That's the only connection he feels to it now. His other hand cups the back of it, holds it against himself like it'll give him some kind of answer as to why some liar who should mean nothing has crawled so deeply under his skin so quickly he feels like he's suffocating. Trying to keep afloat is pretty much the best he can do, more so when she keeps trying.
Her issues, if it's about her mom abandoning her, seem trivial in response. It's all he can think about in that it isn't fair or she shouldn't complain. What would she say if she knew the truth?
And thus, it comes back to this again.
It's 3:17am this time, when his feet are opposite her door and he's forgot his scarf in his haze, forgot to put on any other layers to protect from the cooler night air. He blinks a few times at her door.
No matter how hard he tries though, he can't fall asleep at home. His room is nothing alike his room back home. There's no inner tube, there's no wax statue of Amami hanging upside down. No whiteboard or notes. The only notes he has are the papers on the floor and the canoe he has from the time they went on that excursion to the possessed trees.
Why is he even here?
He exhales slowly, lets his head rest against the door again and this time he hesitates when his good hand presses into his pocket and touches the lock picking tools in there. He clenches his fist around one of them, wincing when the jagged end cuts into his finger a little. It wakes him up at least, breathing harshly like his head has just been dunked underwater to be woken up (is that how Ryoma felt?) because he can't let himself sleep anymore.
The click of the lock turning is incredibly quiet, just like the soft murmur of the door pressing open and his footsteps are almost silent. Once the door is shut, he regrets this. He regrets going so far, when the step was already further than necessary.
Yet he still ends up curling up in front of her door, arms wrapped around his knees again but in the comfort of her apartment instead of outside.
Even if it's all a lie, when it's a ridiculous hour like this and he can't sleep well, maybe it's okay to believe it when she said she cared. ]
( not here | 22 december ) ndrv3 spoilers!!!!
In his pocket is a barrette he'd actually picked up for her a few weeks back, unsure of whether to give it to her or not due to the connection to her mother. He's kept it with him just in case he gets a moment where it feels like it'd be right to offer it to her, but it hasn't been the Time so far.
As he steps through her apartment he wonders if he missed her leaving again or maybe he got the times wrong for when she'd most likely be out. It doesn't seem to be the case though, as he's been right every time up until now. He's always right.
With the silence as it is, he decides to just fuck it and call out: ] Hinasaki-chan? Are you hiding from me?
[ But there's nothing. It's when he steps into the kitchen area that a shimmer of something on the floor catches his eye and he sees the pendant of her amulet on the floor, the chain still in place. Something twists like a knife as he stays still for a moment, wondering if this is a trap or something else. He's hesitant when he steps forward to take it, fingers twitching as he reaches down to touch the crystal only to recoil just as quickly.
It's cold.
His mind flicks through possiblities a mile a minute, remembering the times they've hung out together, the fact that he'd opened up bits of information to this person he had a game of truths with and who he was almost on equal ground with. Someone who could read him well enough to feel like someone from home, someone he'd consider--
family?
His eyes are watering enough that he can barely see anymore, teeth gritting tight until his jaw aches and his hand clenches at this side.
He still hasn't pinned down how he feels (felt?) about her, not really having the chance to or the time to. Two months isn't enough, especially when he automatically pushes people away or when he doesn't know how to completely read her. He still doesn't fully trust her (but he is struggling to try to do that with Saihara, the first he even considered trustworthy) nor does he really know her yet but...
...it was getting there.
That all lasts until an hour or more later he finally feels numb. His eyes focus again, having stared intensely at it instead of doing or saying anything.
When he refocuses, he pulls the barrette from his pocket, replacing it on the floor instead of the amulet. He wraps that around his wrist instead, curling the crystal into his palm for now. There's no change in temperature, but the absense of her with it feels like a dry ice burn on his skin, scalding and suffocating as his eyes shut and he regretsregretsregrets letting someone in.
People will always betray you, it's just in their nature. Even if this wasn't her fault, it still feels like a sharp stiny of betrayal anyway.
Crumpled up in the plastic bag that holds the barrette is a small note that also gets slightly damaged at the edges as his hand tightens:
You don't have to keep the family you share blood with, you can make your own family instead.
He leaves it on the floor, right where he found her amulet. ]
"I'm still here, aren't I? Despite your stupid efforts otherwise or telling me you caused someone to die or seen all those things. And I'm still not letting you go. I don't want you to leave me too", huh? Right at the end, it turns out you were a lying bitch all along.
[ He sounds tired more than anything. Done. ]
26th | Visual
She's not really surprised to come to the realization Kokichi had been there, but she drops the clothes up and finally picks up the plastic bag, looking over the barrette in surprise and then the note and--
Oh.
There's a strange wave of emotions that has the dam breaking all over again and she's crying for too many reasons to pinpoint one alone. In the safety of her apartment, it's fine to fall to pieces for a little while.
After a while she picks herself up and goes to wash her face, staring at herself in the mirror for a long while. Make your own family, huh? She didn't have one anymore, so even if she wanted to reject the notion she couldn't.
She stares at the barrette then, turning it over in her hands and smiles faintly. Stupid. It was all so stupid and silly and-- Miu laughs to herself and takes her normal barrette out of her hair, looking at it too for a long, long moment. It had been the one connection to her mother she still had in this whole new world. With the exception of her memories, it was the last and only thing she had left of Miku Hinasaki.
Miu opens the barrette and takes a breath, before applying enough pressure until there's an audible, satisfactory crack of it breaking. A little dramatic, maybe but she felt strangely--light. Giddy, almost, which is probably what fueled her next move as she carefully slid his barrette into place in her hair.
With his clothes and his barrette, she felt like she hardly looked like the same Miu who'd left the apartment. She concentrates a moment to send the visual of herself in the mirror, flashing a peace sign and a wink like it's a selfie, to Kokichi, and sends over a feeling of, well, gratitude as well. A silent 'thank you for everything.'
She doesn't particularly expect a response, so she doesn't keep up the visual connection long. But hey, she got the gift, and she loves it. He'll probably spy the old, broken barrette on the sink but whatever. It's done.]
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The response he gets is enough to warm him up from the inside out, a soft and fluffy kind of feeling, like being wrapped in blankets. The feeling is shared back to her, just briefly, where he feels grateful she accepted. It isn't quite the same as asking her if she'd join his organisation like he did with Akamatsu or others but... it's getting closer.
This much is more than enough for now. ]
12/25
Merry Christmas, bitch!
I got you some shit inside! Be super grateful that I'm generous enough to give you something for the holiday.
xoxoxxx,
The legendary and super hot, Ultimate Inventor-- Miu Iruma.
[Inside is a box of chocolates and other delicious candy goodness. But that's not all! Under the assorted sweets is a mysterious envelope. If she rips it open, she'll find there's no letter inside but a pair of panties (link nsfw) instead. Don't worry, it's not used. It's brand spanking new.]
Mystery Gift - December.
By her feet, she will find a box of edible underwear. Enjoy yourself???
(Thank you for submitting to the Emotion Tracker!) ]
( action | idk sometime in jan after the trampoline task )
But Miu is just as much of a ticking time bomb as he still hasn't placed what this is. Is it friendship? Is it more? Is it distraction? It's 2 in the morning, should it even fucking matter?
He pushes the door open once he's opened the lock, letting it quietly shut behind himself. He pads over to her room, only stopping once he's at the side of her bed. He lowers himself to the ground then, curling up at the side of the bed on the floor. It isn't comfortable really, but it's familiar, filled with familiar scents and home in a way given who she is to him now.
Family.
He doesn't fall asleep right away though, instead trying to let his mind calm down again first. ]
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It's probably a good thing that, despite being accustomed to late night visitors by now, Miu's senses still pick up on it. She'd grown used to the dead dropping in and ignoring them, and now it was Kokichi who felt the need to infringe on her space.
It's probably something she should've cared about more, but once she was able to get used to his particular energy she'd found it more comforting than anything else in it's own weird way.
So she comes to awareness slowly, picks up that it's him, and is about to drift back off when the thought hits her of 'is he okay?' Normally this isn't thought that enters her mind, she just goes back to sleep, but the fact that it did is curious enough that it bears getting her attention. So Miu stirs a little more and shifts so she can face towards him.]
Kokichi...? [She's too sleepy to bother with honorifics, her voice rough with sleep.] Are you hurt...? [Did he need immediate medical attention or anything else that would need her to actually be awake and fully present for this conversation?]
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Miu having very little on her floor makes it easier on him. ]
I'm fine, shut up and go back to sleep already.
[ He huffs under his breath, rolls over so his back is to her instead. ]
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image. back in the first ???? second??? week of jan sorry
about to marry momota-chan wish me luck :*
[ That's. It. ]
te...xt....
baffled, at first, to say the least. She'd joked a few times before about his fashion, about getting him dressed up. She'd toyed with the idea of getting him properly fitted clothes, a new hairstyle-- it had never gone beyond it because, well, he had his style. She's grown used to it and, probably, wouldn't actually get him to change it.
Now she knows she definitely can't change it because oh, he actually. Cleans up well? She spends way too long with her face bright red, trying to sort through her feelings beyond oh no he's hot.
She covers her face with one hand, rubs it, and then goes to find a glass of water to
drown herself withchug. She can't even feel much of a tinge of jealousy at this whole 'marrying momota-chan' thing because she's sure that either A. that's not really what's happening or B. there's something more to that, so.]And I wasn't invited? Rude.
Is Momota-san wearing the dress?
...Is it a space-themed dress.
:joy:
we're eloping! you don't invite people if you're eloping.
why would either of us be wearing a dress? he put on shoes i guess. he was pretty lazy about it.
[ Next he attaches an image of the effort Kaito put into his own look. Kokichi is just clearly an overachiever tbh. ]
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momoa-san i didn't know jason momoa was an astronaut
omg fuck off. kokichi wishes he was marrying jason momoa lbr...
SSDGKDSKGSGK i mean tbf who doesn't wish that
seriously, get in line kokichi
8(
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NDRV3 SPOILERS sometime between 13th/14th February in the A.M.
It makes it easier to leave her gift in the front room though.
First, her own customised uniform is folded up and left out for her to see, a letter in an envelope left on top of it with a box of different flavoured candies.
The envelope is left open though, the flap not glued shut. ]
Miu,
Don't try and keep this, burn it after you've read it as it contains secret information only high ranked officials in my organisation can see, okay?
I know things haven't ever been easy and that I make things hard for you sometimes, but compared to how you were three months ago, don't you think you've become more open now? You're probably muttering something about how at least one of us while reading this too.
Sorry.
It isn't much, but the fact that I asked you to join me and that I gave you that barrete is more than I would have thought of doing for a stranger back home. I guess we aren't really strangers now though, are we?
Sometimes I don't know what to say to you anymore, after what you saw. I guess that's why I'm writing it out here. Once I send it and leave it for you, you can process it on your own and then just get back to me on if you still want to be a leech or not.
As you know, back home 16 of us were trapped and forced to take part in a killing game. It's almost funny, because none of us really wanted to start it. Akamatsu Kaede set the ball rolling (literally) when she tried to trick the mastermind into being killed. It missed it's target, but the mastermind used it to their advantage and killed Amami Rantaro for their own benefit--to get the game started.
I told you before, didn't I? Amami-chan was one of the few people who tolerated me. He treated me well, was calm and collected. He's here now, by the way. I don't know if you've met him yet but you'd probably like him. Either way, that hurt.
I started to put up ideas on the whiteboard in my room--just like the blackboard I pulled together in my apartment here. I took notes of the weapons and gathered what evidence I could for each murder. First with Amami-chan, then Mom (Tojo Kirumi was practically a mom for all of us), then Shinguji** and then it finally came to what happened between Iruma-chan, Gokuhara-chan and me.
I'd already backed myself into a corner by lying so no one would believe me. Despite what everyone else thought, I did care about them. I could have just let myself die, but then Iruma-chan would have tricked them all and got them all killed.
Gokuhara-chan didn't deserve what I put him through. He was dumb, annoying, and loved bugs way too much sure but he didn't deserve that.
I hate it. I hate what I had to become to protect the people I cared about.
After that, I pretended to be the mastermind that was running the game, I let them all hate me so it'd lead to that memory you saw with me and Momota-chan. Harukawa-chan had every right to shoot me. Momota-chan's just an idiot for trying to stop her. He was already dying, y'know? He was coughing up blood half the time, so if it was him I thought I'd feel less guilty.
Turns out that isn't what happens.
I know you said that you have experience with this kinda thing, but do any of the spirits you send off ever have to come back and live remembering all of this? It sucks. Half the time I can't stop thinking about it. Everytime I shut my eyes to try and sleep I can hear the press coming down, like a buzz I can't shut off. When I end up too far under my covers it's like I forget to breathe because of the poison again.
That's why I'm sorry that I'm the one you latched onto. I don't know what you want from me or any of this, but I probably can't give you what you want or need. I can only say I'll try harder and to just be patient with me.
Though isn't that what family does? I guess you have no choice after all.
Sorry this is a terrible valentine's gift, but hopefully the outfit and the candies help with that.
Ouma.
** If Shinguji Korekiyo shows up, do not become friends with him. He's a serial killer and a freak who was in love with his own sister. This isn't like Iruma-chan, okay? I'm being completely serious with that.
2/14 [Not Here - Action on behalf of Kokichi Ouma]
- ♡(*´∀｀*)人(*´∀｀*)♡
february 14 | package delivery (nsfw)
There's a small note, too.
From your favourite golden brained genius.
You're welcome, Hinasaki-chan :* ]
backdated to like ... feb 27 i'm so sorry
He unpicks the lock with ease, barely having to try, and slips into her apartment whether she's there at the moment or not. ]
Hinasaki-chan?! Aren't you happy to see meeeeeeee?
i am so offended...
However, there is a split second before she panics a little and hurries from the room to yelp:] Make sure the door's closed!
[Because there sure is a puffy fluff ball gunning for the doorway now, regardless of if it's closed or not]
weeps
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1/2
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on a scale of 1 to GAY AS FUCK
jesus christ
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backdated to M 14 ish because no one!! can stop me!!
There's just one problem, which strikes him as he walks down the middle of the street:
he has no idea where she lives, or where to find her during the day.
Hm.
... Well, he's only done it once before and he didn't initiate it, but maybe this is the sort of thing telepathy was made for.
He spends some time trying to remember what doing this felt like, then tentatively reaches out ]
Y...Yo! Hinasaki??
DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS
Momota-san? Everything alright?
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during the dracula player plot
He doesn't seem to care about how he looks, though. He doesn't seem to mind that he's struggling so much just to be able to get to where he wants to go. Where that is is Miu's apartment.. And once he's there, he doesn't knock. He has no strength left in him to be able to do so. Instead, he uses his side to bang against the door. It's light, but there's a faint sound of someone from the outside of her apartment flopping against it.
The lights nearby—both inside and outside the apartment may start fluctuating, too. It probably isn't a good sign of anything, considering she has no idea what's going on just yet. A layer of black smoke covers Akashi as well, his subconscious' way of dealing with the stress and the fear, but he's still partly visible if one looks closely enough.
Please help him. :C ]
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It's then she hears the thump and hesitates. Someone must've been there, or something, and for half a second Miu coldly thinks that it's none of her business. That she shouldn't get involved. Whatever is out there can deal with it themselves, but--
But her mind turns it over and over, reminding herself that if it's someone in need of help and she does nothing and something happens... Miu isn't sure when she developed a conscience. She's not sure she likes it.
Either way she approaches the door with a frown, one hand on the camera, the other on the door handle, trying to get an idea of what was on the other side before she opens it. The energy is familiar, in a way, but obscured enough that it feels like when a word is on the tip of your tongue, there, right there, but ungraspable.
Miu pulls the door open then, and she's... Not scared, really, because she can't remember the last time she was ever actually afraid of anything, but alarmed.]
Wh-what...? [Miu blinks, baffled at his appearance, and it takes her a couple seconds more to figure out what--or who--she's looking at] Akashi-kun?
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messenger bird, 13/06.
I received strange seeds a few weeks ago and I decided to put them in a planter. Now, I've harvested the seeds' fruit. I hope you like them. They're just as beautiful as you.
Your most loyal admirer
12/25
Happy holidays, hope you like it. M.
Who's "M."? Who knows. They must be a real menace, though. ]
Christmas gift
He also found some red, blue, and green hairpins that he thought she may like. A card is included.
'I hope you enjoy the gifts though they may be simple. Thank you for helping me settle into a new place while I learned how to survive on my own.
Merry Christmas
Tetsuya]